day 1: soul crushers

Have you ever felt sad? Like really really sad? Can't get out of bed sad? Dementor sad? You'll never get over this sad? I have. Three times in my life. Once was when I realized that I couldn't afford to go to the college of my dreams (Georgetown). I was only a teenager, so my coping habilities weren't that great. I felt so bad because I thought (still do) that your college experience is one of the things that defines who you are. More than going to a fancy school, I wanted to live elsewhere, away from home. And I couldn't no matter how badly I wanted it. I had slaved through high school to graduate top of my class so the world could be my oyster, but smarts aren't all you need. It was so hard. I remember crying for two months straight. In the end, I did love how my college experience turned out, even if it wasn't the one I wanted from the start.

The second time I felt soul-crushingly sad was when I lost my first job. I didn't see that coming. I didn't like that job at all, we even had rats in the bathroom, but I was still devastated. Hearing that you're not good at doing something, anything, even washing dishes (I've heard that one), is something I couldn't stand. It didn't make things any better that I broke up with my boyfriend two days later after a nasty fight. I cried a lot but also took an ounce of comfort in thinking that things couldn't possibly get any worse. I was jobless for about two months, and it did get worse. My mind was my own worst enemy. When I was in school, my mom always used to ship me to any camp or summer school of some sort because I couldn't stay home for two months. I was restless. After getting fired, the first two weeks of staying at home were easy. It's like a vacation, I thought. You'll find something soon, I thought. But when I kept going on interview after interview with no results, I grew desperate. What's wrong with me? Why won't anyone hire me? Am I really good for nothing? It was like going on date after date and no one likes you, even if you look your best and wear your lucky pair of jeans. After weeks of trials, someone finally hired me. After only one interview. It was almost like kismet. I still have that job right now, and it's a great fit for me. No rats here!

The third time I ever felt world-collapsingly sad was last week. I won't lie, I still do and I feel ashamed to admit why. But I'm awesome! I have a great job, my own car, great taste in clothes! I can cook! I can speak three languages! I'm great at home decor! I have great taste in music! My eyebrows are great and I'm having a great hair day! SO WHY AM I SAD OVER THIS? Why am I embarrassed to admit it? I'm sad because a guy broke up with me. But that happens all the time, you might think. You'll get over this. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. He doesn't deserve you and much less your tears. Trust me, in the short lapse of five days, I've heard almost every comforting cliche in the book and it still doesn't help. I read something yesterday that made so much sense: why should you talk to the person who just broke your heart? You wouldn't go back to a job you'd been fired from every day just to feel bad about yourself would you? Even if you loved it, THEY STILL FIRED YOU. 

No matter what anyone tells me, the truth is that I've realised that no one can make me feel better. Not my friends, not my family, not even the guy who broke my heart into a zillion pieces. The only one who can do that is myself. It's not as if knowing that fact makes it instantly better, but it's a start. Anyone who takes a look at you or your relationship and thinks, "thanks, but no thanks" should not be worthy of your time and tears. Even if he was wonderful. Even if we had everything in common. Even if I miss him like hell. Because no matter what happened, what I or he may or may not have done wrong, I know I'm still kick-ass. Even if I don't believe it right now and feel as if a cow had taken a giant dump over my head. I don't know what will happen and how long I'll feel this way, but I do know something: it WILL be alright. "The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful, and so are you".

pin-a-holic

It is inevitable that every year in december, almost everyone has the habit of looking back at what they have achieved (or what has gone down swinging). This year, I proudly want to say that I have become a DIY geek, and have loved every minute of it.

This year I learned to make the best dip ever. I learned what the word ganache means and made some finger-licking tarts. I bought my first measuring cups. I learned to master my patience to work with yeast and made these. I learned that Julia Child started cooking when she was 36! I was reminded that if you only do what  you know how to do, you will never do very much. I learned about a zillion different ways to wrap a gift. I learned how to sew and how felt and food can come together. I also learned how to sew ruffles (my personal everest).

The best part, is that I learned how to make all of these and other great ideas on Pinterest. Forget youtube tutorials. I'm a pin-a-holic. Ever since I logged on to Pinterest for the first time this past may, I haven't been able to stop pinning. Facebook is no longer my number one procrastination source, now it's Pinterest. In fact, I love it more than Facebook and Twitter combined.

This is what a pin used to mean to me

In a nutshell, Pinterest is a social bookmarking sight, i.e. if you see something you like while browsing, with the click of a button you can save it for future reference and share it with your friends. It's like tumblr and twitter rolled into one, in a very user friendly way. I love that it's so easy to use but what I love the most about Pinterest, is that I have found things to do here, that no amount of googling would have helped me find. The food, the crafting and diy-ing, the style, and the random and awesome... they just make me smile. Did I tell you that I am addicted to love Pinterest?

Follow me on Pinterest here!

glass or bust!

Tasty mugshot

Last night I went to a party, had a little bit too much to drink and inevitably woke up a smidge hungoever. I have a fool-proof ritual everytime this happens: ibuprofen + a damn's worth of water + carbs. This time around though, water just wouldn't do and I craved something else: an ice-cold-make-your-eyes-water-fizzy coke... from a glass bottle. No, not a coke from a can nor a plastic bottle, it had to be its more elusive relative coke in a glass bottle. In my mind, fizzy drinks that come from a glass container always taste better. The best example I can think of besides coke, is beer. Since my brain couldn't concentrate on anything work related, I turned to trusty Google for an answer to my brainfart: does soda taste different from a bottle than a can?

"I'm not crying, there's just soda bubbles in my eyes"

Apparently it does! It all comes down to how long it's been sitting around in its container. The Coca Cola Company would set my pants on fire and call me a liar, but I still think otherwise. The reason is quite simple: all soda going into a container has the same amount of bubbles, but winds up "tasting" differently because the fizz leaks out easier from plastic and aluminium than from glass. And another thing which had never occurred to me, but my geek mind found fascinating, is that you can't "taste" the fizz. Your tongue feels the carbonation, the same way it feels pain when you bite it. This is why you still feel the fizz tingling on your tongue even after you swallow it. So go ahead and raise your glass not your can! Your taste buds will throw a party. 

A nerdier more scientific explanation of the taste-dilemma can be found here.

If you agree to disagree with my superaccurate googling skills and still think cans rule the soda universe, read this.

if you shock them, will they buy?

I read this question today on the WSJ website about the new Benetton Unhate ad campaign. I first noticed the images on my facebook feed this morning and thought they were a prank from some photoshopper with too much time in his hands. The images are supposed to "stimulate reflection on how faith, ideas and politics, even when they are divergent, must still lead to dialogue or meditation". I doubt I will be buying anything from the brand (or any other brand for that matter) just because of a racy ad campaign, but I've got to hand it to them for making this comeback. Whether you hate or praise the idea, benetton sure knows there is no such thing as bad publicity. I'm pretty sure I'll have nightmares tonight about Obama kissing a bunch of people. Please, no tongue Mr. President.

Check out the rest of the campaign here.

greatest hits

The past always seems to be better when you look back on it, than it did at the time. The past is filled with all of my personal greatest hits: graduated college, kissed the guy, bought a car, lived abroad. In my mind, the past holds only the best version of myself and of what has happened to me. All of the sleepless nights studying, the crying over the guy, the penny pinching? Who cares, because my memories surely don't! 

I think it's safe to say that we all, at one point or another, put on our rose tinted glasses and fall into a haze of romanticizing the past, not only about our personal lives, but about how life used to be so much simpler, the world was a better place to live in, music was so much better and the only small orange beings I could recall were oompa loompas and not this woman. 

Hands down, tv shows come off the worst if you take a trip down memory lane. Remember when MTV used to be about music? Remember Carson, Daria and Cornholio? Team Dawson or team Pacey? Was it really cheating if Ross and Rachel were on a break? Were you a Carrie, a Miranda, a Samantha or a Charlotte? And when I think about a "spiderman kiss", I don't think of Kirsten and Tobey, but of Summer and Seth. Of course TV back then had it's terrible things, like the whole Marissa Cooper downward spiral, but I think tv lately has gone the way of Felicity's hair. 

Feeling a little bit nostalgic? Check this out.

my favorite month of the year

Liver, I really hope that you're ready...

iSad

My first apple product was a second generation ipod. I've always been a music freak and I loved the massive amounts of music I could take along with me, instead of being stuck with only 18 songs from a cd. To this day, every time I listen to a Jet song, images of black people dancing to neon backgrounds always come to mind. But I truly became an apple convert when I got my first macbook. Once I got past the learning curve, I stopped being a PC and have never looked back. Not that PCs are bad, it's just that in my opinion, they lack the passion apple has. So thanks Steve, for never giving up and raising the bar on products that make technology exciting.